ODE TO THE SHOEBILL MURDER BIRD

Friday, 1 February 2019

My apologies if you were expecting an ode - this is most definitely not one - however you may sing these words if you feel inclined. 



From the moment your gaze meets the dazzling beauty that is the Shoebill Stork, its depiction shall forever be engraved upon the inside of your eyelids. So enrapturing is its form, these storks shall bless your dreams of a night for many, many moons and appear during the day, flittering amingst the confines of your peripheral vision. Do not be afraid if these visions become reality for as the prophecy goes;

169 years from the Shoebills documented discovery, artists worldwide shall experience a collective wave of inspiration. The shoebill will be verified on Twitter and named Earth’s official muse. Statues will be erected across the land and the Queen of England shall be replaced by an elected representative of the Shoebill kind. This is sure to be a great boost to the UK’s post Brexit economy (studies show Shoebills sell more tea sets than royally old ladies).

Interestingly, it has been said if you look close enough under the worlds most powerful microsope you will discover the very energy* we are made of atoms neutrons etceterererererererer- have been created in the form of the shoebill. As such I believe the only logical conclusion is this is our purpose, this is the reason humans were put on this planet by our alien overlords. We have been created for one singular purpose, to serve the Shoebill Stork; to provide it with the respect it deserves as a descendent of the dinosaurs. To serve is to receive their benevolent protection and the opportunity to bask in their natural beauty.

*Don't quote me on this. I do not claim to understand science or sienscee terms, only shoebills, the difference between up and down and why your pen always run out as soon as you decide to defer your attention from screen to good ol' fashion paper... it's a conspiracy run by the worlds oldest tortoise.

Completely accurate HISTORY LESSON



Humanity is encouraged to accept our newfound subservience along with the knowledge it grants. There are many lessons we may learn from the Shoebill;
- the art of meditation. Being still and embracing silence as we tune our minds into to that of our body.
- the importance of silence e.g. in catching slimy stinky fishy prey.
- and not to mess with birds because some are really big and from the looks of it, know how to hold a grudge. These guys are in for the long haul, just look at that face.

[Narrated by David Attenburrowundertheearth, the only safe place left)] 

Hundreds of years from now, as the Earth burns, emitting a cloud of human and cat ashes alike into our solar system, the Shoebill's shall reclaim this small, not so green planet. These ashes will travel far and wide smothering star after star, obscuring all light and with it, all hope. And so, our legacy will carry on long after our tragic demise.

Image description (below):
One lucky Shoebill chows down on its freshly cooked entree of human flesh.

if birds had arms

Friday, 18 January 2019

If you can, I ask that you take a moment of your day to stop and ponder the wonder that is birds with arms.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about this. What once started as a mere instagram story, soon made its way into the big wide world of twitter. And now, my brain child, much like the birds I speak of, has migrated all the way to my blog #proudmum
or youtube. I'm not sure. It depends how many people I want to not see it.

I personally think there would be nothing greater than birds with arms. Perhaps that's because I'm easily amused, like a cat might be by a laser pointer. Or maybe it's because on a subconscious level I'm actually of the anthropocentric view and find nothing more interesting than in seeing myself reflected in every piece of creation. Actually I think that's just called being narcissistic but this is all just theoretical so it doesn't matter.

I love animals I swear.
Don't know what that says? Too small for you to read?
You're clearly anthropocentric.

Jokes aside - well not really, this whole thing is a joke - I thought it essential the world see exactly what I picture when I imagine:

BIRDS. WITH. ARMS!!!!!!!

And so I've made some extremely extremely high quality images for you to peruse so that you too may share in the glory of my wondrous idea.

Watch in awe as the ibis majestically flies off into the sunset with your 5 years olds Vegemite sandwich.



As you can see the bin chicken pictured has evolved so much, it no longer has to steal from trash can or scare your children into abandoning their food with that beak, it can simply walk right up to you and grab your food. What could be better? Sharing is caring.

But the bin chicken isn't the only bird who deserves such a glow up.

You'll be pleased to know, with arms Cockatoos have the ability to irritate us even further. Now they can play rad music to match their crazy hairdo!!


The kookaburra now has the opposable thumbs to take public humiliation all the way to twitter.


Use your imagination to pretend the blank rectangle is actually an iPhone. (Images not to scale. If they were the phone would likely be bigger than the bird and we don't want to be blocking this guys smug lil' face now do we?)


And the Cassowary just got a little bit more dangerous.



This is the future of bird life down under. 
Bird watchers beware.

Note: Click on the images for photographers links.

"Scribble" Art

Friday, 11 January 2019


Something I've started experimenting with recently is loosening my work, the result of which has been overwhelmingly rewarding.

This experimentation was not driven so much out of personal desire as it was of necessity although I suppose they may be one in the same if you consider making art a necessity in which you desire to find whatever loop hole where ever you can to enable you to do so... just something to think about.

In 2017 I injured my wrist. Since then, despite many, many attempts to help it recover, I'm still struggling. Consequently, I've been unable to draw, nor write nor type very much this past year however, more recently things have begun looking up. Using a wrist brace, a tens machine, along with my left and right (injured) hand intermittently, I have been able to begin creating once more.

These creations, I fondly refer to as "scribble" art.


The aim is to draw one new work a day in an attempt to rebuild my wrist strength. That being said, I've already missed a few days but that can't be helped.





sandon point sunrise

Friday, 4 January 2019



instagram @bobblegaryblog

There's nothing better than scrolling through your old drafts to find content from years ago. Procrastination runs through my blood, feeding my organs, strengthening my bones. Physical sustenance is a thing of the past, it's all about the metaphysical now. With this knowledge, go forth and become your truest self. Go forth and bask in my inability to use my own camera after so, so many years.










welcoming 2019 the right way

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

I am open to receiving positive energy in this, the new year.



I have a bone to pick with New Year’s resolutions and here’s why. The new year is undoubtedly a significant time. In fact, it seems like it was created purely for the purpose of reflection; to meditate on growth in years past; prompting us to look ahead at all we wish to achieve. Only, it was created.

Time is a human construct, as is the Gregorian calendar. Although we base it on the Earth's rotation of the sun, an entity we cannot control, this notion of a new year is something we have made. This time of year is saturated in toxic goals disguised as positivity and sealed in tiny glass jars labelled 'new year new you.' Yet growth is rooted in the past, present and future, so why do we insist on living each set of 12 months as though they were separate? Why do we constrain personal growth to a mere 365 days?

Our future self is intrinsically linked to who we are today. In the same way, our present self could not exist without our past self. If we apply this understanding to yearly resolutions, it's clear the concept leaves much to be desired.

Capitalist society encourages us to do more, to be more, to buy more - all in the hopes of achieving what is for many, an inflated and unrealistic goal. More likely than not, you didn't expect to wake up January 1st a a desk lamp or a sea otter, so why expect yourself to completely transform your person between now and December 31 2019?

There is no time limit on these things. Aspirations change alongside human experience. 'Resolutions' can be made on any day at any time.

Consider this;

New year, same you.

Now is the time to set affirmations; to determine the energy you wish to manifest. This is not the time to throw away who you were in years past. Time is fluid. Identity is fluid. To separate our identity according to the calendar year denies us our inherent ability to learn from experience. If 2018 just wasn't your year, don't be so quick to tear it up or throw it away. In between the darkness there is light. No matter how your year panned out, there are lessons the universe has shown you which will continue to serve you throughout the rest of your life.

evening shadows

Thursday, 24 May 2018

a collection of poorly captured and edited photos taken within the span of five minutes. i'm really selling this to you aren't i


THE BEST EUROVISION RECAP YOU'LL EVER READ

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Just kidding, this is totally awful. I just wanted to make myself feel better.

On May 13, much like Ukraine’s entrant Mélovin, Australian’s rose from bed to watch our beloved Jessica Mauboy - and 25 other fantastic performers - sing their hearts out on the worlds largest stage. Eurovison 2018 taught us many things;

Numerous funky dance moves;


Where aspiring fashion bloggers have been going wrong;


And why we mere mortals should leave hair flips to Beyonce and Beyonce lookalikes.



One thing it cannot claim to have taught us is just how to write a song after Norway’s entrant Alexander Rybak, left the nation baffled with his song… ‘How to write a song.’ 

Breaking news: Experts conclude Rybak’s method is total bull***  preferring to direct any aspiring song writers to this article by wikiHow: How to Write a Song.


Later, we endured a controversial point ceremony - mostly because Australia scored the worst it has since entering which isn’t hard considering we first infiltrated European ranks a mere three years ago.


And even though a poll I made determined almost none of my followers actually watch Eurovision, I’m going to share some of my favourite moments.

Germany uncovers one of Ed Sheeran’s million estranged brothers
When German entrant Michael Schulte first walked onto stage, many believed they had mistakenly walked into an Ed Sheeran concert. This isn’t much of an accomplishment considering 2 year old Isla Walton’s genetic makeup is so similar to Ed’s her photo went viral last year. It seems all one has to do to be mistaken as the guy is have red hair and pale skin… however his song does sound a lot like Lego House… just something to consider. Regardless, it was a pretty great performance.



Isla Walton (left)                                   Ed Sheeran (right)

Trust falls continue to ruin friendships worldwide… meanwhile on the Eurovision Stage…
This year, Eurovision brought us one of the most spectacular trust falls I have ever seen! Finland’s representative Saara Alto began her performance on a spinning wheel of doom, included some interestingly dressed backup dancers and concluded with a trust fall off stage.

Personally, I wouldn’t trust my sister to catch me if I were standing a mere two centimetres away on level ground. But who wants to fall backwards anyways? Life advice - never trust a bungee jumper.

Thousands flock to the audiologist following Hungary's performance

AWS entertained us all (okay so this may be subjective... may be) during the Grand Final, officially joining the ranks of the great shoeless performers of Eurovision past. Running around maniacally, giving themselves neck injuries and screaming A LOT, they allowed many to reconnect with their former emo 14 year old selves.  That's an act of community service if you think about it.

Apparently the purpose of screaming in Hungarian was so they were able to express themselves 'eloquently'. Did they manage that??? No really, did they? I don't even know what they were singing about. Something to do with Summer... Despite the welcome change from sappy ballads (ahem - Spain) no one was more happy than the local audiologist, who has received a 95% increase in business since their performance. 


I do believe that's fake news right there people
If only Hungary could've performed first, Australia wouldn't be facing a coffee shortage.


Portuguese singer found to have eaten radioactive fairy floss
What do you mean I'm just making this up now? Have you not seen Spiderman? If you have, you'd know radioactive fairy floss is the only possible explanation for this woman's hair.

Ukraine brings us the soundtrack for the upcoming sixth edition to the Twilight Saga

Ukraine's song ‘Under the Ladder’ features entrant Mélovin rising from a coffin like contraption. Clearly, he was forced to use this over a real ladder following the realisation that ladders are in fact on this years list of prohibited items - along with chairs, umbrellas, hand cuffs and controversially, mugs in an effort to prevent anyone spilling the tea that the voting system is one big conspiracy - the only way to explain Australia’s score.


They've also placed a ban on anything one might find useful during the Zombie apocalypse so just make sure you're aware of and have come to terms with you imminent doom before choosing to attend next year.






Estonian designer forgot to include pockets
Elina Nechayeva’s dress may have dazzled audiences, costing a whopping 65 000 Euros, but it still doesn’t have pockets! That’s a lot of money to spend just to look like a giant lava lamp without pockets!! And no fake ones to be seen. It’s tragic really. Adding salt to the wound, Elina was unable to break all the glass in the Eurovision area. Fortunately, glass bottles are amongst the many items banned so it went unnoticed.

SuRie makes it through the 'Storm'
Eurovision fans were left shocked after a stage invader grabbed the microphone from British singer SuRie during her performance of 'Storm'. His actions provoked an interesting reaction from Australian commentator Joel Creasy, referring to the invader as an 'absolute c**khead,' the highlight of the evening - so kudos to you Joel for maintaining the entertaining commentary.
Despite being given a second chance to perform, SuRie declined saying something along the lines of 'that was her moment'... did you really expect me to do research and find her exact words?

If this was a bid to get more votes, it failed miserably. SuRie finished 24th out of the 26 contestants - still better than 'Cry Baby' in 2003... we will never forget.



SEA TURTLE DRAWING

Monday, 14 May 2018

more art @bobblegary on instagram












materials: 2B, 4B, 6B Faber-Castell pencils